It's easy to ask all those questions of yourself when you feel there was some flaw that caused the breakup. Like you, I too am an artist, very right brained (hey...that's a good thing!; married to a left brained engineer, bean counter for 20+ years, I won't go that direction again if the opp. arises!). I recently fell in love with a "remarkable" man, in a brief courtship, and from which he gradually retreated, and it ended about 2 months ago. How could someone with whom I had such "chemistry, and to whom I felt so drawn, reject me??? Like you, I have done all the soul-searching, blaming myself, being depressed, trouble sleeping, and generally obsessing over it! The plain, cold, hard truth I am having to process, is that he simply changed his mind and DIDN'T WANT ME! I haven't called him, but I HAVE emailed a few times, to which I get polite, but unencouraging replies. I am not suggesting your situation is the same as mine, Artist. Maybe the woman just "got scared" as has been suggested here, but my true feeling is that in a loving relationship, there should be NO anxiety, soul-searching, depression, sleeplessness or self-recrimination. NONE!!!! Also, the question I ask myself, which brings me back to reality is: "Do I really want to pursue someone who doesn't want ME???" I know deserve better, or nothing at all.
Also, I want to add, that, like you mentioned, I too have thought .....well, I'll get into better physical shape, be more attractive, and maybe then, if he sees me.....yadda yadda yadda! So much damn mental work for someone who simply doesn't want me!
Sorry to ramble on here, Artist. Maybe things WILL work out for the two of you. I just see so many similarities in what you have described, and I empathize with your pain.
Seeker