Tabbi I'm so sorry that this is painful for you. I have been threw a divorce also, and one thing is for sure every now and than things will pop up and get to you. One thing that I don't think changes is that your always going to feel some kind of love for him. It took me 5 years to get over the relationship with my ex. I'm not saying that your in love with him. My ex he is an a++, but I wish for him the best. You know that I have even been told that a divorce is worse then a death, because the ex is still living. And if he really hurt you then that leaves a scar. Sometimes I cry about some of the abuse that my ex did to me. He really did some crazy stuff to me. It will all soon pass. So just hang in there. We are here for you. Michele