I thought I i had done it, that I had improved my self esteem , that I knew I was worth more. it hough t I was over using my body, I thought i was I really did. I want to be. WHy do I just go numb and allow it? its not like I want it to happen, but I dopn't do anything to stop it, in fact I go along with it why?? How do I stop this cycle. 2 years without it happening, then one night, one stupid night . Drinking didn't help, but why!!!!!!! I don't wnat to be that person, I thought I wasn't that person, I thought i could change had changed. do I succumb to life that is obviously meant to be, I don't enjoy it, I never Ihave, I just do it cause its what they want, damn it I am a person I deserve better, how do I sto pt his???