thanks all, I can't found T whose expert from DV because I have had T and she is not expert so nothing help just the wheel story. Currently I am taking medicine it feels good for the mind I don't lost and can function but I am having flashback so much and feeling melancholy and sad I am not sure is it of the affect of the medicine or my healing stage get cycle again to the bottom. but the good thing is I am not having panic attack again only flash back so the point is the person who have the experience with me is like would be more helpfull rather then therapist.
My ex was a narcissist person and maybe I am a co dependant person because I lost my self esteem and missing him so much its like addicted though he makes the crazy making and didn't give me a room for myself makes my day always like walking on eggshell