I know that I have the correct diagnosis. Been living with this for so long. I just get tired of being "sick". I want nothing more than to be able to have a "normal" life. To be able to deal with people and have normal relationships or relationships at all. If I'm up and down or on meds I feel uncapable of being a functional human being. So I pretend things are good or ok and that nothing is wrong. Then the ups go way up and the downs go way down and I can't do what I'm supposed to. I just want it over. Thank you all for giving such wonderful advice and just being here. Its been helpful since I found this place.