OK try this..call a hospital in the day and ask to talk to a medical social worker they can refer you to someone who can help you..,THERE IS help really. You just haven't found it yet and are reeling from the shock of this..or go to ER and get a psych evaluation then they HAVE to by law help you ...Please be safe....We all can fix this it may take a couple days and smarter folks posting than me but we can find someone..Now on the abadonment....that just suxs and I am so sorry what a h**/ of a time for your T to do this...THAT pain will take a while and the new T that YOU WILL GET will help you with it

HUGS