I am extremely frustrated right now with my dissociation and my alters.

I have gone a long time with the system in order adn being very quiet, not blanking out, or feeling surreal, or swapping out.

now something is lurking in my mnid about the abuse, and my system is swung into minor chaos, I'm swappign a lot, increasingly feeling float and disconnected from the world.

I don't know how to reinstate the calm and well working system I had going on, well not as much as it was a system as much as it was me in denial about alters and ingnoring their presence. I had rules in place, but the protecter alter keeps breakign them,

this is all so confusing, and upset for me, I don't know what to do, I have a hard time accepitng all of this, I fear people will laugh at me, or clal me a liar, or something...

I just don't know what to do anymore...