I was involved in a relationship for almost 2 years. It just ended and I am not dealing with it well at all. She was a menipulative, violent and controlling woman when she became angry but when she wasn't she was the sweetest woman alive. When we met she was a lay-minister at her church. I had been dealing with issues and she was a great support. She lead me in the right direction and it was great. After a dating off and on for almost year we moved in together and moved an hour away. Sex was the biggest thing she wanted. But she began to scare me. She would assume that I was messing around and there were arguements. I drank alot and began cutting it down. Funny thing is that when I drank she would get violent and angry. She knew I drank when we met and I was drinking much more then. Everyday. Towards the end of our relationship I was only drinking a beer a week. But nothing was ever good enough for her. When no one else helped her I was always there for her. In the end I look back and all of my most important material things have been destroyed. Computer, digital camera, cloths, coffee table, etc. She once drove my car 85 mph down the street screaming "I'm gonna tear this MF up!" She has done some very painful things to me and always assumes something is wrong. She looks for wrong and then entertains assumptions. I know your asking why did I stay. When she was not angry, she was the most Loving woman alive. She's a giver. When she would break things she would replace them. or at least she did most of them. She was all I had and we were trying to get married. But then she would demand attention and when I didn't give it because I was scared to move closer she would become more angerfilled. In the last few weeks of the relationship she was screaming at the top of her lungs, "I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!!!" Over and over, I laughed it off and teased her about it until she started laughing. Then she began cheating on me. The first guy she met online and went to meet him 2 1/2 hours away. She said he forced her into having sex. Not exactly rape but she said she just gave in. Then the second guy she started going to see him on the weekends and ended up coming home with hickies on her neck and telling me how good it was. I was helpless and couldn't do much. I have always been a hard worker and during the year that we lived together I had 5 jobs. She would demand attention while I was working and threaten arguements when I got home if I didn't give it to her. I would tell her, I don't want to loose my job so I can't respond to your email right now. And she would go through the roof!! I would loose jobs just trying to keep home together. And when I would tell her about her anger, she would say, "well don't piss me off then!" Something is wrong with me. I stayed with her through thick and thin. Now that she is gone I miss her so much. I know I have some issues even some anger issues, but she is beyond understandable. Then a month after throwing me out she sends me an email and tells me she knows that I am her husband and that I am all she thinks about etc. I know that I am mentally unstable right now and in need of help. I've started going back t church, and that helps but I need more and its difficult not to talk to her. The scary thing is that I still believe that we are supposed to be together. My whole life is upside down now.... Please help.....