mytime, I don't think that we have met, so let me start by saying hi! Nice to meet you. You can call me Mel.

I read you post and thought wow! I know those feelings you are having. I know them really well.
I don't know your story, but I know your feelings.

I know the feeling of thinking you have changed, just to fall again. I know that feeling of wanting to be someone other than who you are. That is the point where I get confused. I am changing me. I have stopped the flirting to get attention. I have stopped the giving myself away because it is what they want. It is about you, what do you want. You want to be treated like a normal person, to be respected, to be loved for you not for what you can give someone else, right?
I know those feelings!!
My advise is this: 1. Be honest with yourself.
2. Don't rush it. it takes time to change things we don't like about ourselves.
3. Don't think you have to be perfect. Allow yourself to make mistakes.

We are humans, and unfortunately for some of us, we have had hard lives that make every day difficult.
You are a worthy person that deserves to be loved for YOU, Not what you can give to someone!

I know that it is tough and that it feels like a never ending circle. I have been going through it since i was 6. I am 28 now.

You ask yourself, Who am I? Is this how I am supposed to be? If I change, will it help? If I change, will I like myself any better?

For me, thinking back to all of the times I did things because it was what someone else wanted... only hurt me more.

Please don't feel like you are alone, I am here with ya!
I am here anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or a place to put your soap box. k?