i miss pdoc at times (although not recently - see him often enough), and part of that is just because he's a really funny guy and i love how we relate. but then there's also the fact that i miss the "therapy" part of our relationship - being heard, validated, given a safe space, having someone believe in me - those things aren't specific to pdoc at all, i should expect to get them anywhere from ppl who love me. then there is also the transference bit (i'm ok with using that word for how i relate with pdoc, but as a rule i think it gets used too often, and that can really hurt). pdoc sometimes feels very fatherly to me, and i feel very safe and looked after with him. usually i miss that the most.

but i had a nice experience today where i saw pdoc after missing last week's session, and he was all "how have things been? it's been ages since i saw you last (lol, pdoc - 2 weeks!) and i've missed you". i thought that was really sweet. it means our relationship is as important to him as it is to me. and a part of that is probably because he likes me as a person, but also because i've been improving so much since april and it would make him feel really good/competent as a Dr and i think he's really enjoying where i'm at right now and having been a part of helping me get there.