Thanks for the hugs and kind words everyone. Last night was the first night I had to stay alone in my flat and I didn't sleep til about 3 and had to be up at 6, so my eyes stung like crazy in the shower, which wasn't nice. My IBS has decided it hates me today, so that's playing hellfire with me and I'm in considerable amounts of pain, no matter whether I take meds or not

I wish someone would wrap their arms around me! I could do with a big hug!
I was talking to my close friend last night and saying that this was the first time that good things were happening and I wasn't wondering when something bad would follow, I wasn't thinking 'something bad WILL follow because it always does', I was revelling in the happiness, loving it.. So when everything crashed around me, i wasn't prepared, so now I'm beating myself up for not being prepared, but if I had been prepared, that would've meant being afraid of being afraid! So I think I did the right thing in not waiting for something bad to follow the good and not being prepared for the bad as much as I usually would be. I WAS partially prepared because I guess a part of me had an inkling that something could happen. BUT I didn't dwell on it. Yippeeee!

So.. Ummm. Yeah. I'm pushing on again, got through another day without SI and my reason for that is because I will have to have bare arms over the weekend because of the residential, so.. I couldn't get away with it.. At least it's putting me off for 3 more days or so.

I always see my Foster Dad as my Guardian Angel. When I look up to the sky and can't see the stars, ifit's on a bad day and I really need that North star (which I see as him) shining down on me, I break down but it's only on good days that he's there! sigh. Just wish he was here IRL. I wish a lot of things and I'm stupid for doing so

Thanks for the good thoughts and such. I'm tired and feeling ill and yuck.