Not many of us do this and sometimes maybe we forget: we're a family. It sucks not knowing where your family is. So I ask that you please update when you're feeling good, bad, and in between!

So....my update:
Geodon has saved my life this time. First, it was Lithium, then Geodon. I feel remarkable. Or next to. I sleep strangely, but I get the correct hours. My eating is irregular. I've lost 15 lbs in 15 days since getting out of the hospital. I quit smoking, I started running, and applied to go back to school for the first time in four years. I eat healthy when I do eat. I need to worry about eating more.

I had a panic attack last night. I thought I was dying. No. I was sure I was dying. Mom asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said, "yes, this is the end." A moment of clarity in the cloudy came and I took two klonopin instead realizing what had happened two hours after the trouble. Clarity is sanity. I beamed and climbed into bed.

I was perfectly fine this next morning. Gave my mom a "When someone you love is bipolar" book and enjoyed my day.

Some guy leaned over in the doctor's office while mom and I were talking about my new wonder pill and he told us about his last 6 suicide attempts because of Geodon. "Be careful you don't get TOO happy," he said. Mom pat his leg and told him thanks. He showed us his facebook games on his iphone. He got called away and I burst into hysterics. Mom grounded me and we talked more about medicine and reactions. I was still crazy when it was my turn so I'm off on disability until midSeptember. I wish this was a vacation and not a rehabilitation.

We changed my med dosage and when I take it so I don't have hypersomnia (you fall asleep/are drowsy way too much during the day). It makes me eat less, but I have to eat a significant solid calorie number when I take it so I don't vomit. I have a weak stomach. They say take ginger root. WHAT ARE YOU A D.O.? lol Yeah. I tried. I can say that.

My attention span is getting better.

Please tell me I'm done looking for sanity. I know I'm so much younger than most of you, but we've suffered the same. 12 medications. 3 years. Pray for me to get there.

You guys, my support system at home, my pills currently (Geodon, Lithium, Klonopin), and my own good health/strength has allowed me to be courageous enough to flush 600+ pills that had a different end planned. Thank you.

I can't say that enough.