it is hard i feel drop down each day recently, when i am alone i cry hard coz can't hold anymore the flashback feel so real. i feel hurt and sad remember the crazy making he made. no yelling, no physically abuse but the crazy making, criticizes he made its hurting so deep. feeling betrayed when i put a lot of trust on him, i trust him became my guard, partner to reach the goal through married, understanding, loving and caring person as i know him at first. but when i feel safe and put all the trust in him he betrayed me with the crazy making he made, put me down, makes me feel like crap, left me alone in the confusing things he made then he throw me away when he feel he can't control me and can't suck my self esteem anymore coz nothing left, so he didn't interest with the game anymore he kick me out so cold and mean.. its so hurt.. and when flashback come the tears come like a flood and the moment in my mind is like real..

i cry and told to myself why you come again.. i already release all my anger and pain, i forgive all the things but why you (flashback ) come again.. i don't know what should i do again

I take The medicine with help me to function though I am having slow motion in activities and also can get rid off the flashback and the feeling drop
I am thinking to change or stop the medicine but I don't know..