((((((Friendly female hugs!! Hi Artist!))))))))))))))))

I am a female that has had her share of "the definite wrong guy" However, I have now been w/ the same guy for over 22 years......when I was in nursing school; all the other younger females (especially one) had some of the most screwed up ideas about relationships & marriages. One who was sporting a "rock" on her finger that must have put the poor guy in debt far past the marriage anullment. They were always fighting over her cell phone during breaks & they were to get married over Christmas. Others were showing everyone they could nail to see the "wedding album pics"
And THEREFORE; over the years we've been together, we have watched our friends( and family members) marry & subsequently divorce.

I am an artist

my "illegal husband" is a musician = instant disaster? Almost, but not quite. We're both "emotionally unstable" but that has been what has saved us all these years. When we met we both KNEW we did not want to have children (face it, if everyone was meant to be a parent...there would not be any child abuse) He came from a totally close-knit missionary's family (all 3 boys were born w/ disabilities & all had vasectomies on their 18th birthdays)They moved all over the world; they all were musically-talented. (My guy is totally deaf in his left ear but can play classical guitar w/o sheet music) His father was a POWERFUL man verbally/emotionally; His mother very quiet & SOOO loving!!!

I came from a totally 100% dysfunctional family; Mother: Valium freak; Father: sexually & physically abusive to me & 100% alcholic (Mother "pretended" that nothing was ever going wrong) physically abusive w/my 4 older brothers...brothers: 2 have committed suidcide; they were drug dealers; burglars & vandalism... they got me drunk when I was in kindergarten and dropped acid in my kool-aid whenI was 9 rs old.
I got out of house by age 14 d/t alcoholism/AODA, truancy etc...spent my life in a big AODA induced blur w/ a few rehab ctrs in btwn; endless group homes. detention ctrs and residential tx ctrs until 18; got my GED - wound up in the Army as a medic & then psych specialist nurse. Keep drifting, had a dozen marriage proposals, but they were all "missing something" Always wound up back here, where I met him as a neighbor in my apt. bldg..........he was "special" in a weird way & I thought I could pick anybody's brain (after all the tx I went thru & then in, taught) It was his eyes..so emotional...and he could verbally "kill someone with words", he cried at the drop of a leaf - we were "there for each other whenever which one needed it most, he hated sports (exception: Green Bay Packers!) rarely lied about anything..his reason was: "Why?" We became FRIENDS first...on a basic level. We'd sit out till midnight on the front door stoop & play "Truth or Dare" He had "bedroom eyes' which lead to the bedroom..."no lies enter the bedroom"was the rule! (including fake orgasms) THE POINT:

If you can live in one room efficiencies w/ another person & NOT kill each other for 20 years straight - no stereo system, so cable, no computer games........you've got a chance! WE WERE BEST FRIEND's FIRST!! Yes, there was the sex thing w/ me being ana at the time (he wasn't crazy about that) or later, when I lost all my teeth to bulimia.....but we were just cool at just accepting each other..if one of us has a concern; we get really comfortable anywhere & TALK AND Listen to each other......sometimes we talked as long as it took to settle things! Occassionally, we'd have to take bathroom breaks & "fresh air to re-group" and we kept & so still do, keep going.

After 22 years we have "graduated" to a tiny so-called 1 bedroom apt. public housing (welfare)but we always wind up sitting by each other. I became a "roadie" for awhile; we finally gave up on going out w/ other couples b/c by the end of the evening, the other couple was fighting & Denny & I had to drag them to different ends of the place.

ppl today get caught up in the "idealized love, marriage, house, car & children" They feel that THAT's the way it's suppose to be. The upsweep that they have found the "ideal man/woman/both" The ring, the wedding, the church, the caterer's....********! We both wear gold bands that we got for a reasonable price at WalMart; We have years that b/c of psych problems & AODA on both parts; we have dragged each other thru absolute hell.....but he's the only one who will sit thru "bridges of Madison County" countless of times until we are each other's arms, crying & professing our love to each other. He's the only best friend I have had in my entire life; we don't hold back on each other...truth & committment to love & take care of each other...forget in church, in front of "God" & the world. WE LOVE EACH OTHER!!! We don't play mind games............life shouldn't change after marriage (relationship-wise)

OK. off the soapbox, my sweetie's home & I promised to make my homemade chili & steamed broccoli!! Hope I helped?

Peace, DAYZEE9