Yeah, social anxiety fits me even better than the shrink's diag of avoidant personality disorder, but looks like I have both, and to think I used to have a customer service job- pizza delivery... phones, face to face, problem resolution, deliveries.
I also play the organ, and did postlude music in a local church for a year so I could access their big organ, but I would start getting the jitters pretty quick so I wound up keeping to real short pieces out of the hymnal. Having 150 people staring at the back of my head though was very nerve wracking and when I made an error things always went downhill rapidly. The last time I did thepostlude was when I has some errors and really messed up the last few bars of music and found the right last chord, shut off the blower and spun around on the bench to take my shoes off and instead of everyone being GONE as is typical for the postlude, everyone was still sitting there!
Turned out they were going to have a meeting right after the service right there.
Triggering Symptoms: People with social anxiety usually experience significant distress in the following situations:
1-Being introduced to other people
HATE this!
2-Being teased or criticized
Ditto!
3-Being the center of attention
Ditto!
4-Being watched or observed while doing something
Even worse
5-Having to say something in a formal, public situation
Ditto
6-Meeting people in authority ("important people/authority figures")
Ditto
7-Feeling insecure and out of place in social situations ("I don’t know what to say.")
Ditto
8-Meeting other peoples’ eyes
Never do
9-Swallowing, writing, talking, making phone calls if in public
Yes!
Panic etc., yep, made a mistake at work a few weeks back, foreman passed by with a friendly normal "How's it going?" as I carried the project I THOUGHT was finished, back to my work area and he followed since I couldn't think of adamn thing to say other than "oh just FINE, except forhaving to fix a few problems" and things rapidly deteriorated at my end slowly till I got to my bench and slammed the thing down on top of it and had to explain what was wrong.
I started to describe the problem but things built up to anger and frustration so rapidly I actually told him "I can't do these any more, and I had to get out of here" and I walked out, got in my car and took off leaving rubber on the pavement and went home, broke a few things and then called the secretary and told her I was taking the rest of the day off using my vacation time.
I was real worked up and figured I was out of the job for sure and was ready to
just think about checking out permanently.
Next day I went in 1/2 hour before the foreman's usual time and started fixing the problems on the project. He arrived 15 minutes late, didn't say much but what he did say indicated I still had a job, so we went into his office for a talk.
Things worked out ok, not a peep from the higher ups and no one has brought the incident up.
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