Okay, I am going to disagree with the previous poster's statement,simply because I am a very strong believer in each and every one of us taking personal responsibility for our own selves and our own actions.

That being said however, while each and every one of us does make mistakes sometimes and our actions can inadvertently affect others in ways we may not have intended, I do believe there is little that is *ruined* and little that we cannot repair.

... and it seems in this situation you were able to do something towards repairing the damage that occured with the other system involved, so kudos to you. You did something that affected someone else, took responsibility for it, and helped to repair it.

I would say that, far from 'ruining' everything, you are a good person who operates with integrity and a sense of personal responsibility. That's the kind of friend that everyone needs.

As for 'darling grandmama'... it sounds like she insists on throwing obstacles in your way. Take heart in the fact that your adulthood is impending, and soon you will be able to be your own person, in charge of your own self. It probably is just a matter of waiting it out.

But , you know... everything is not ruined... just made a little trickier. Hang in there.