Well, until I took a pregnancy test a few minutes ago I was convinced I was pregnant because my period is more than two weeks late, and I thought for sure last night I could feel something moving around. The negative test made me feel better, but until my period shows up I think I will still have some doubts. THere has been no intercourse since before my last period.

The other one is my neignbor knocked on my door today and invited the family over to swim and hang out with the other neighbors. I left it kind of open ended, but I could tell that she could tell that I hadn't showered in three days. ( I was too busy fighting my cause for MI on another site) I just know she walked away thinking that I was disgusting, because as she got a good look at me, she sort of took the invite away and said, "no pressure or anything." Now I can see them all across the street and I know they are looking over here when they come out to their driveway. I can't bring myself to go even though it looks fun because they will just know there is something wrong with me. I feel so stupid for not going, but I know that I will do something stupid if I do go. I am freaking out over this so my kids miss out.
I haven't really been able to eat because I just can't decide what to eat or bring myself to cook anything, so I am lucky if I get two meals.

I know some of what I have described are not delusions, but the pregnant thing and the nieghbor thing, I think fall into that category.

I am feeling disabled and incapacitated unless my husband is with me. We went to the beach today and I just laid there and baked, but as we walked onto the beach I could feel everyone looking at me.

I shouldn't be so self centered, right?

Actually, I just remembered that one night last week just before I fell asleep I thought I heard some sort of sound in my ear, like a combination of a man screaming softly and the ocean rushing by. I ignored it and figured it was just my mind playing tricks just before sleep like maybe I was already asleep and was starting to dream, but maybe it is part of all this.

Man, they're going to put me away.