I'm in the process of applying for SSDI and also my state insurance's health plan. I know if I don't have backup insurance that one episode will bankrupt me. That's why I'm so scared to go to the hospital as bad as things get. I'm too overwhelmed lately to keep doing the paper work, but I'll get back to it ASAP.

Looking back, it kind of makes sense why I couldn't work for long stretches of time before I burnt out and had to either stop or else cut my hours way back. Same goes for school. I get extremely depressed when under intense stress and often have months of insomnia/anxiety on top of the depression. It is an illness and it needs to be treated for life. We're not lazy, we just already have a full time job: getting well and maintaining it. Sometimes I feel like a rickety car with faulty parts. Mechanics are like the p-doc and the therapist...keep me from winding up in the junkyard.