Welcome Charlotte

My ADHD was undiagnosed until I was an adult. I always knew I was a bit scatter-brained, hyper, forgetful, the energizer bunny. But I managed fairly well without medication. Then I encountered some tough life stresses (depression/anxiety) that just compounded things. At that point the little things I did to keep me on track were ineffective. Basically its hard to tell which came first but when they all combined at once, my life became unmanageble using the old tactics.

So after crashing hard I realized I needed help. I sought counciling, got officially dx with ADHD got some meds and started my journey back to health. I can honestly say things are MUCH better for me. Now that I have my stress better managed, I've been able to back off on the Adderall dosage and at some point will likely go back to manageing this issue without meds.

I just wanted to highlight that your H likely has had problems with this all his life. For me it was just something that was in the background, making A LOT of other things more difficult. Just like your FM, certain things cause it to flare up and need a better management plan.