{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am so sorry you are hurting so much. It reminds me of the times that I was hurt by my T. I don't know how to say this without upsetting you more but have you heard of black and white thinking? Sometimes my T would hurt me or piss me off and I would be convinced that he was out to get me, to set me up for more pain because he got off on the power he has. Or even worse that he was in league with my husband, just trying to get me give my hubby sex and what not. Then later my T would do something nice and comforting and he would suddenly be the most wonderful, intelligent man on the face of the earth, my savior and my friend. My T has shown me that he is neither of these extremes. I would split him into two seperate beings, totally forgetting the other half of him depending on how he made me feel during a particular encounter. I can see this behavior in what is happening between you and your T. It is a common occurance. I have heard many people talk about it on this forum. Please forgive me if I have just hurt you more by pointing this out. I became so angry at my T each time he pointed it out to me but if he hadn't pointed it out over and over I would never have learn that I did it. He would read back letters and session transcripts where I said one thing that totally controdicted what I was saying about him at the time. For instance it was not long ago where you said that you T was the only one you have ever trusted. He is the same man as he was then you are just upset right now. Please consider e-mailing him. You don't need to be alone. You have us and you still have him if you want. He has just set bounderies and we can learn by his example.
I apologize if I am out of line,
Sincerely,
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson