Sometimes when I allow myself to think about things, especially sexual things that are contrary to who I know myself to be, or that seem taboo, I can experience the kind of head rush or almost euphoria you seem to be describing. To me that is just a sign that I am 'flirting' with something unknown, or dangerous, or forbidden. The feeling itself can be quite seductive, but it does not really say anything about who I am, except that like all human beings, certain thoughts carry a kind of thrill with them. This is the kind of feeling some movie makers specialize in evoking in us. I guess the trick is to see it as just a feeling and not read anything more into it.