I've been living at home for a little while. In fact, I asked a question related to this a month or so back. My situation has gotten a little worse, so hear me out...

My dad thinks he knows everything. No matter what I say to him or if the conversation doesn't even involve him, he becomes extremely combative. It's even worse if he's been drinking. Earlier tonight, my mom, dad and I were having a very normal conversation in the car. My dad didn't seem to understand the argument my mom was putting forth, so I interjected and attempted to explain it more clearly. Instead of listening to me, he screams--angrily, like I just said something sacrilegious--that I don't need to tell him what my mom is saying, that he understands it perfectly and that I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I've been getting fed up with his know-it-all ways, so I finally just let him have it. I told him to chill out first, which made him even angrier. Then I told him that I can't stand talking to him and that everything I say just becomes a nightmare of a situation.

This caused him to threaten to throw me out of the house and make my life a nightmare. My mom is usually pretty meek and likes to avoid confrontation, but she agrees with me that I did nothing to earn my dad's ire. I was just having a normal conversation, and he turned it into some sort of catastrophe.

My major problem is that this seems to be the case with anything I talk to him about. If it's not a conversation about what a successful guy he is or how much money he's making, he becomes an insufferable jerk. He has no room for other people's ideas or opinions. I don't know what it is other than extreme insecurity coming from an older gentleman, but I'm getting to the point where I have no desire to talk to him at all.

I want a relationship with my parents, especially if I'm living at home post graduation, but this situation is just beyond me. I can't deal with being yelled at for sharing ideas or just opening my mouth. It's not fair, and it makes my dad's weak attempts at relating to me and getting to know me even more frustrating. He doesn't get why I avoid him like the plague lately; he thinks I want to spend MORE time with him, when I simply choose to stay away because his bad attitude and insecurity make me repulsed.

I have enough money to move out, but am currently unemployed. My sister lives in a city a few hours away, and she herself suggests I should probably just move out of the house and head over there. I figure it's better than staying here and letting this misery overwhelm me.

What makes me sad is that I never realized what a jerk my dad was until recently. I just sort of accepted his argumentative nature as a quirk and didn't pay it much mind, but now I see that it's turned my parents' relationship into one superficial show and his relationship with me into complete resentment on my end.

I want to like my dad, but he's given me nothing to work with. All he does is try to shower us with money or gifts whenever he feels things are turning against him. That's his only method of forgiveness. I'm way past accepting material objects as a substitute for a real relationship. I try to put my words into ideas he can comprehend, but everything I say to him is perceived as an affront on his entire existence. There's just no way to break through to him. He's my dad, but he's a thick headed jerk, and if I dealt with someone like this outside of family, I'd tell them to get lost and never talk to me again.

I know getting out of the house is the answer. But I also would like to think there's a way to get him to understand why I (along with the rest of my family) find it such a struggle to get along with him. We're his family. We're the only family he'll ever have; he's the only father I'll ever have. I know I'll be sad when he's gone... that's why I'd like to fix this somehow. I'm afraid I can't, though. He's honestly the most insecure, angry, argumentative person I've encountered in my life. When I argue with him, I feel like I'm exposing him for the insecure coward he is, so I end up feeling bad that I even go there--but he's bringing it on himself.

My entire relationship with him is tension mixed with guilt. I hate it. I really do. Is he just beyond saving? Do I need to keep increasing the distance?

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I know I should be grateful he's alive and supports me to an extent, but this is just ridiculous. I told my mom I wanted to leave the house, and she agrees it might be a good idea. My fear is that I'm just going to completely shut out my dad if I go. For some reason, that makes me feel kind of bad, even though I have a ton of resentment toward him. I'm starting to feel like he's a contributing factor to the majority of my defects as a person. I hate to say it, but how else do you turn out when you spend a lot of your time with an insecure, argumentative, angry person? He has absolutely no patience for anything that doesn't mesh with his world view, and he gets even worse when he's had a glass or two of wine.

On top of all of this, he's just kind of disgusting if he's not being a jerk. He criticizes everyone he sees on TV. He's incapable of saying anything nice. If it's not someone's fat *** or crooked nose, it's their voice or something else. The negativity is suffocating.

He's not all bad, but he's mostly bad. It's a weird situation because I can't exactly pin point what precisely is wrong with him. I just know there's something extremely wrong with his personality, and I need to get away from it. I'm kind of convinced he'll never change. He refuses to listen to any criticism. If you tell him he's yelling, he'll deny it while yelling at you. If you tell him to calm down, he'll get angry and say that you're arguing with him. If you tell him he thinks he knows it all, he acts wounded and claims that you're calling him names. It seems like it's impossible to get your point across to the man.

The worst part is he buys into all that Power of Now nonsense. I think that any book or philosophy that helps a person get by in life is worth following, but it becomes obnoxious when it becomes an excuse to lead a two dimensional lifestyle. To my dad, the answer to everything is to "live in the now," except that nearly everything everyone says sets him off and ruins the "inner peace" that he brags he's developed more than anyone else he knows. He's actually so arrogant that he's gone on about how he's more spiritually evolved than other people, and that everyone in this community bores him because he's more enlightened. Seriously...

I don't even know what to do anymore. When I complain to my mom, I feel like I'm going to ruin their marriage. Whatever works for them works. I can't do anything about that. She has the same problems with him, but somehow she deals with it. I guess she's just come to some sort of understanding. I have no tolerance for the level of disrespect he shows her, but getting involved just exacerbates the problem, with all the blame being placed on me. Anytime there's been a fight between my parents and I've been present, it almost always seems like my dad blames the problem on me instead of himself. He also never apologizes, just sheepishly begs for acceptance and love after doing something wrong. I'm past apologizing for arguments I didn't cause.

I need out! I'm 23, and I have the means. Is there any way to salvage this relationship or should I just tune him out for life? I honestly think there's no redemption for the man. He has a heart, but it's buried under layers upon layers of repulsive personality defects. Somehow, he's succeeded in life. But along with that comes boasting about his position in life, flat out lies about his achievements, nonsense about things he did over four or five decades ago, and very few close friends. I can't help feeling guilty, like I need to be there as one of my dad's good friends--he's not young--but I can't sacrifice my happiness or sanity anymore. I had an idea he was causing me lots of grief when I was younger, but being gone from home for a few years and coming back to this environment has just solidified it for me...