Wow! Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful responses to me, and for posting what missing your T means to you.

ripley: I think you are managing well under the circumstances of dealing with what could be called a "therapy nightmare". You were with your T a long time, and were starting to discuss your attachment to her. Then she disappeared. I bet that she thinks about you even though she has not contacted you. I bet she wonders how you are doing and is sorry that she left in the way she did. I think that you WILL hear from her again. In the meantime, I'm glad you are seeing someone else. Thanks so much for posting to me.

Bether: I understand what you are saying about aching for the "regular person" as I put it--the person with flaws and all. I think what you shared with your T is beautiful, and the way you express your feelings is beautiful too. But I have a problem with feeling those feelings for my T. I don't want to love her and ache for her. I want HER to love me. I like her as a person and as my T, but I don't think I love her. The yearning part is for what she isn't, not what she is. I don't want to miss her too much because I've already gone through that while I was cutting down my sessions. I want it to be like you feel about your T. You miss him but you don't have to act on your feelings. I don't feel maternal; I feel like a child when I get those yearnings.

Sky: I THINK I understand what you're saying, though I'm not exactly sure. I'm still obsessing about my T if I don't see her as "just another woman I can trust." But, in my case going back into regular therapy would trigger my obsession. I'm doing well at "letting go" and putting her into the proper perspective as my T and NOT as some fantasy figure. I know I'm getting there, slowly like a turtle, but I'm definitely moving on. Thank you for responding to me!