Marjan, i have gone through that, don't hate yourself. I myself am trying to emotionally detach from my husbqand, bad thing is we stilll live together, in seperate bedrooms, floors of course, but it is still hard. It's so important for your own well-being to force yourself to be with others. Get support out there and take it one day at a time, for me it's one minute at a time. It's so easy for people to say let him go...but we must do that. Go to therapy, church or something to help you emotionally detach. You are better off without him and i know it must be lonely. Take the time and look within to make yourself happy. I am pulling for you!!!