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Originally Posted by Babysteps09
They say it is good to be around people and to socialize as much as possible.
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They say? Who are they -- and more important, how would they know what's good for
you?
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I feel worse when I'm in amongst a group of people than when I'm all alone. I see them laughing and carrying on, enjoying themselves as I stand alone feeling miserable that I can't be that way, the way that I used to be. Is it because I'm jealous or is my depression to blame.
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It sounds to me as if you're currently working on something that they're not; you're choosing to keep working on it even though you're not sure you're supposed to; you're not sure how much they'd be ready to support you if they knew more; and you don't want to be distracted from what you need to do by whatever people around you may be doing. Depression may be, not something to clear out of your way so that you can go back to doing whatever you used to enjoy, but a reminder of sorts that it's time to move on to whatever's up next for you.
I keep noticing you around PC and I think of you as a fun person, devoted to your friends and very supportive. What you've been doing here so far seems to be a great way for you to have expressed yourself. You may now be moving into working on different issues so that that's no longer quite where it's at for you. In any case, comparing yourself now to how you
used to be is mostly a recipe for staying stuck instead of going forward with what you need to do. I recommend being who you are from moment to moment, even if you have to pause, look around for a while, take a few, well, baby steps
and see how that feels, before you're sure where you really want to go next. You're not going to
lose any of your many talents, even though you may need to set some of them aside for a bit while you're busy discovering new ones.
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The only way out is through.