I can't pretend this doesn't describe how I feel about myself, so I'll join the chorus.

Sometimes I imagine depression as a "disease of the will" or "volitional cancer." What happened to my desires, pleasures, drives? Where did they go?

I know other people have been helped by antidepressant medications. I've been through all sorts of ADs and other meds, and the best I can say is they may take the edge off or partially smooth out the rough spots. I'm still a mess.

And that brings me to declare, "I don't know." So thanks, Idontknow, for opening up an opportunity to identify and vent.