You are not alone...I'm like you these days...feeling that I ruined all kind of relationships with friends...but when I think deeply, I realize that I didn't want them in my life and I let them go....besides, I figured out, it's just my thoughts creating all these problems....
most likely, it's just you who thinks this way....if you find a way to control your thoughts, then you will be free from them....
I'm trying so hard to not think negatively....or not think about all these people!!!!!
Try your best to stay positive and I'm sure good things will come to you soon