I'm so sorry you are hurting. I don't do birthdays either. On PC, I put a different date and then said don't show it anyway. When I started working this job I am in now, I told them I do not celebrate my birthday and did not want it coming up as birthday of the month. Thankfully they honored that. I do not remember any birthdays growing up, but they cause so much stress and unrest inside my head that I've found it better to ignore those days.

I hope you feel better soon. Please take gentle care.