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eskielover · Aug 18, 2009, 12:51 AM

Oh, my husband was the nicest person.....he was really sweet also & he always helped me out when he wanted to (which was most of the time)........sounds exactly like how my husband was most of the time. Like you, I had the better grades & I ended up with the equal job as an aerospace engineer.......there are things that are under those things that it takes time to come out......things like I was still in school & had my priorities......when I had a test & he wanted me to go have fun & I knew how much studying I had to do......I was controlling. When he graduated from college, he was working for a bank just as a teller....but because he was working for them, he thought they owed him the job when he graduated.....his grades were low because he thought he was so good he didn't have to work hard.....well, the company didn't want him because of the low grades & he got all pissy about it.....that was the start of seeing his real personality.....what he really was under the really nice guy......sadly, that personality was what ruined the marriage......even though he was the nicest guy throughout the 33 years....under the nice guy was a real jerk......so you can have the nicest guy in the world, but until you know his real personality.....You don't know him......& you don't have to live with they to get to know their personality.

I have been around & seen many relationships end up this same way.....take it from an older person who has observed many people in my life......you need to give a relationship several years before ever moving in together..........what do you have to loose.....if he really loves you & turns out to be the really great person with out a bad personality....he will be there in the few years it takes to really get to know him......if not, you haven't lost anything anyway.......you have nothing to loose by waiting....you have something to loose by not.

Just think really hard about what you are doing before getting that involved so quickly.

Debbie

Quote:

Originally Posted by salukigirl

Its nothing like that. I really wouldn't change a thing about him. He listens to me, helps me out and does really sweet things for me. He realizes when he's done wrong and apologizes right away and, most importantly, he loves me for who I am and tells me that all the time.

I have always had to deal with things like guys being insecure because I make more money than them or have better grades than them but he is totally supportive.

The question wasn't really about whether it's right for us to do, it was about how to approach the situation. I appreciate your guys' input but I don't think that those assumptions are being fair to him, me or our relationship.

Thanks Jerry, I appreciate it. I think tonight I'm going to talk to him about it. I know there is still a while before it happens but I'm the opposite of a procrastinator haha