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Aug 18, 2009, 04:27 AM
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Member Since: May 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 822
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Dear Dr (name),
I have a few things I would like to talk about in this letter.
Firstly, my health. Since no one is bothering to do anything about it, I am not sure what to do. I am not asking you to “cure” me or treat me for my symptoms, I’m asking for help on how to cope as it does affect me in other ways. It’s very hard being so poorly, and it affects my mental state as well. My symptoms are as follows, so you know what is going on physically. They do point towards Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis but no one is doing much of anything right now;
- Fatigue
- Loss of memory and concentration
- Sore throat
- Widespread pain
- Unexplained muscle pain
- Pain that moves from one joint to another without swelling or redness
- Headaches
- Unrefreshed sleep
- Extreme exhaustion lasting more than 24 hours after physical or mental exercise
- Abdominal pain
- Sensitivities to foods, odours, medications and noise
- Bloating
- Chest pain
- Dizziness and balance problems
- Dry mouth
- Earache
- Irregular heartbeat/Palpitations
- Jaw pain
- Nausea
- Hair loss
- Muscle twitches
- Weakness
- Chills and night sweats
- Shortness of breath
- Tingling sensations
- Visual disturbances
- Weight loss
- Feeling of having a fever
These symptoms affect my emotional state daily. I feel depressed and low because of how poorly I have been, and still am. I feel very upset that people are minimizing how ill I am, or are saying it is in my head, this includes doctors. It makes me feel anxious because I do not know what is wrong, and no one is bothering to help me find out. I do get mood swings because of it, though even before I was poorly, I had mood swings then, but it seems to be more prone now. I would also like to tell you about this because if I do go on medication, you’ll need to know how unwell I am and the risk of feeling worse, which I really do not want.
I am also on Tramadol, which you know, and paracetamol. So this may cause interactions with other medications if it is decided I go on them.
I would like to talk about my mother. I feel she does not care very much about me, not like she should. She has and still is neglectful and abusive to me. This is worse when she is drinking. I feel her capacity to be a mother to me has greatly decreased. I feel I am not wanted or cared for in this house. I feel Charlotte is the favorite as well, and always have done. Her alcohol has really affected our relationship; however, it never really was existent. She is very insensitive and misunderstands so much going on with me right now. She is also, as you know, expecting me to go to college and she fails to realize just how much of a challenge that will be, not just mentally. I feel as if she doesn’t care how poorly I am, physically and mentally. It hurts. It really hurts.
My sister is no different. She’s worse if anything. She is very abusive towards me. I hate it. It stings so much. She behaves so awfully. I really don’t feel she is anything to me, especially not a sister.
I am willing to take medications if it will make at least one battle easier, I realize my mental state is awful right now and something needs to be done. I am afraid, to say the least though.
I am willing to work with you over the next year, or however long needed. I will try very hard not to “fire” you and run away.
I would like to know what to do regarding college, and regarding the next year. My mother is only worried about money income. She also thinks I won’t ever go if I don’t go this September. This is unfair; I realize I have a lot of struggles and battles, people have hardly any faith or trust in me, but it is my choice, and I feel I need to take the year off to get myself sorted out. I need my health sorted out, both inside and outside.
Another thing is I have been offered a babysitting job by my cousin to babysit her 1 year old and 3 year old. I have accepted, I do have a problem with saying "No". It is temporary and is going to be for a few months at most, but I am worried about it. My mental and physical state makes me feel anxious about doing this. I don't know if I'll even be up to it. I don't know what to do about this. I also would like to make this known as if I am going to try medication, if it will be okay for me to babysit. The first date is the 24th of this month. But I am concerned of how I will cope with this, so I'm unsure on what to do. I don't want to let her down, so I guess I will give it a try and keep to my word. She is also going to be paying me for it, so that will help for a few months.
I do need help, and you are offering it for the mental and emotional side of things; I appreciate this, as I do need it. Thank you. I know I am not the best at times, but when it comes down to it; I do need support and I do need help for many things.
I have filled in the questionnaires for both the eating disorder and the obsessive compulsive disorder. I am nervous and scared about what will happen. I am frightened to get rid of my scales, to increase my intake to 2500 calories, to be weighed regularly, to see someone for this, but I know it does need to be done and the longer it doesn’t, the harder it’ll get.
There are more things I’d like to discuss, and I’ll probably write another letter for the next appointment as I do struggle with communication, which you know, and I really do feel writing it down in letters is more expressive and a lot easier than talking.
I guess I am done for now, thank you for reading this.
Sarah.
The second letter to my psych.
I'm seeing her in two hours, taking my laptop with me as I haven't got a printer to print it off.
I'm nervous, anxious, wondering, contemplating, confused, hmm...
What do you think of this letter?
Is it okay?
I'll update what happens when I come back.
Thanks.
x
What do you think of this letter?
Is it okay? 
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