thanks again Micah and Vickie (welcome to the site!)

Vickie, i have been working on a thread relative to the issues you raise regarding trust and abusive pasts... i am editing it into this thread because i thuink it pertains to your concerns... here is the edited, re-edited, re-re-edited version lol

(((muffy))) communities are about connections, yes, you are right

(((((muffy))))))) kindest, dearest, sweetest one

i hear you that this topic is one which has impacted and affected you personally, the life of your family, affected you deeply, is of great concern to you, as it is to the many also and i apologize for what i might have said, might say, that triggers you or anyone reading... my prayer is for my words to be gentle, but clear, caring, hopeful, helpful...... it is fine to ask for clarity anytime there is confusion or misunderstanding and i will try my hardest to explain my thoughts for you or anyone

to say 'they can only harm those who let them' is not intended to mean permission in the normal sense of allowing others to do what they want to us and accepting fault for not stopping them, but instead to mean that our beliefs in what is good and healthy must be stronger than our fears, as you have shown many times to me that you understand..

we do not allow or invite or expect that a bully will latch onto us, nor is it in any way enjoyed... it is a thing which happens when we are simply in the process of being ourselves and it is uninvited and very harmful, not only to ourselves, but to others in our society... the ripple effect...

we cannot deny that we have such predators in our midst ... with ''freedom' comes 'free will' not to be confused with 'good will' ... some see freedom as the opportunity and right to cause harm to others.... and simply loving and praying for them is not enough, it is only one way in which we can convert fear to strength....

departments and colleges and professionals look at this problem daily and there is research being performed continuously to put an end to this societal terror, our prayer is that these professionals and predators meet and a miracle of healing happens... in the meantime we do the best for ourselves by choosing love, not fear, as i know you have chosen in every path you step at all times... my love always gentle one

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...=103299&page=3