Hi FreeSpirit6. Welcome to Pysch Central.

Wow! I can't even relate to what you've been through. Is losing a child even something we could ever get over?

All I can say is that, for me, just taking my medication is a huge help - 20 mg of Celexa. I wish I was in therapy to deal with my reluctance to interact with new people, though, but being uninsured doesn't let it happen easily. I also work from home, so I don't have daily interaction with people either. I have a really hard time striking up conversations with strangers, thinking I can't possibly have anything worth keeping their interest over. Not having real life friends is a huge part of my depression, but I'm at a loss as to how to go about meeting new people.

But, like I said, medication makes a major difference for me. It keeps the downs from almost incapacitating me, but I can still experience the good feelings. Maybe you need an increase in medication if you're on a low dose.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))