My Support Forums - View Single Post

myoasis89 · Aug 18, 2009, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pomegranate

I think your brother and his fiance did not treat you well. I don't think trying to get your parents to understand that - to get them "on your side" - is a good idea. I would follow your initial reaction in just simply wanting to go to the wedding with your parents - or by yourself - have a good time and wish the couple happiness in their new life. Keep it simple.

I'd keep the back story out of the situation, attend the wedding if that is what you feel like doing and then continue on with your life as it is. It's your decision how close, or not, a relationship you are going to have with your brother and his wife - or anyone else for that matter. They will either respect your feelings and follow your lead or they won't.

So then they'll be hurt and angry but that's really not your problem, it's their's.

Or they MIGHT review their own actions from the past and feel some guilt and try to get the relationship between you and them on a better footing. It's then your choice to respond to that or not. I would deal with the now and look ahead, not behind.

I very much agree with you pomegranate...I was afraid that I was wrong...but its nice knowing someone else agrees. I don't want to break up the family but I also need to worry about my own emotions and how people treat me...I will go to the wedding...but they can not force me to be in a close relationship with them if I don't want it. The could ahve had that with me...but they ruined this themselves...and they are in their 30s ...they need to live with their consequences. I'm only 20 and I did not cause them harm...the issue mostly had to do with my parents and how they didn't accept her in the family...people got me in the middle...and I end up hurt in the end...

I really appreciate the support...I felt very alone on this issue