Starrina, here, no matter what, you stand ten feet tall.

I feel there is much more to your story than what you present in your short post. Are you able to analyze your situation without labels ("coward") or comparisons ("like your mother")? That can be difficult; your family has tended to mold your thinking about yourself in certain ways. Do you have a friend or counselor to assist you?

Wishing you the best of possible outcomes, whatever it may be!