Do ya'll get flashbacks bad?

I been for a long time getting flashbacks where i get the taste, smell and feel of something. Like the 2 pieces of bacon i ate that made my stomach feel even sicker. Or the smell of the house we all stayed in. I feel the worry and dire need to know what happened to my brother. I feel that pain when i flashback to when i was sitting outside the hotel door 4 in the morning. So upset, yelling to call us, let us know you survived. I feel what i felt then, when i bawled and yelled into the voice mail of my brothers phone.

I didnt cry for the longest time. But now when i have the flashbacks if i cried then i cry again. Im actually going through what i did then again and again. I'm losing moments in time because of these flashbacks. They are coming more frequent. Am i just losing it? How can i have those senses of smell, touch, taste, etc? Does it always stay this way when this happens? Does it ever slow up or just stop?

A year and a half of being numb and in shock. then i turn to this torture for the past 2 almost 3 years.

I dont want to ask my T about this. She'll go into it further and i dont want to go there right now. I'm trying to forget about it. And just go minute by minute like its over and i just have to live the way i chose to.

I just had to get this out. I feel alone, the way this stuff is happening to me.