I feel like someone pulled the plug in the sink and I am swirling the drain with nothing to hold on to. My life is falling down all around me.

My husband told me that he thinks I don't love him and he gets nothing out of the relationship, my ex is mad that I didn't tell him right away that our son went to the Er last week for heat exhaustion, my inlaws think I hate them, i want to leave and start a new life, and my mom is telling how incapacitated I am and not to make any decisions (I know that!), my dad will hardly speak to me because I guess he thinks I'll shatter like glass. I've lost most of my friends, I am ruining my business and will likely stop doing it.

I am taking medicine that doesn't work and I have to wait 6 days until I see my p-doc.

Everything is affecting me. I am now in therapy three days per week.

I have two bright spots. My kids.

School is starting soon and I don't think I can handle all the registration, school supplies etc. and I don't dare ask my husband because he told me that he doesn't like to hear me demanding that he do things for me. (I usually ask rather than demand except for one time when I needed him to get the dog off my son,)

I have been playing tug of war with his parents and he is the rope. I told him and my t-doc that I let go of the rope. I give up. I have nothing left and there is no point to my treatment other than my kids, but if I get dovorced again, my husband fight to take one son, my ex will likely get my other son, we'll have to see my house and I will probably just let go and go for the big S.

I am fighting so hard and I don't have anything left.

If I go to the hospital, I'll have to explain what is going ton to my ex and I'll lose my son.

I NEVER should have sought treatment. I should have stayed single with my oldest son. I was better than and I was able to keep my house clean, pay attention to my son and just live life the way I was meant to live it, as a mom, not a pile of sh**.

I don't know what to do. It's over for me. I have no life left. I'll just wait until I can save enough money and wait till the kids are grown and go.

That's only 18 more years of he**.

Sorry for the hopeless rant. I just have nothing left and no one left. My support system is gone and my kids are too little to take on the burden of a crazy mom.

Maybe he'll take pity on me and lock me up in the attic so the new governess will hear strange noises in the night and find out on her wedding day that there really is a crazy monster in the attic and that he is still married and then everyone will suffer, she'll run away, the crazy one will burn the house down with a candle and he will go blind. (From Jane Eyre)

You can just ignore me. I am sad.