I really understand. I've had so many therapists I've lost count. They either get promoted and don't do therapy anymore, they move, or they are idiots with a license. Over the years, I've had two good ones. The first was the one that diagnosed me (finally, answers!) and then he transferred away. The second was last year and he was wonderful, but he quit to give lectures and write books. So I just said that's it! And I asked my regular physician if she felt comfortable in prescribing my psychotropic meds. She did, and so that's where I am now. I have a backup pdoc that I would need a referral to see from my reg doc if things get bad, or I'll just go to the ER and psych ward. I am stable as I've ever been on meds now, so far so good.

What I'm trying to say, partly, is have a plan in place just in case. I'm literally talked out with therapists, I have nothing else to say except here. I find coming online is more beneficial than therapy even on a good day. Here, everybody understands what it's like to suffer with BPD, and I find a lot of comfort in that, and I've also learned so much. As far as being social, I am on disability (13 years now) after working hard all my life and losing many jobs due to BPD. Now I lead a very low-stress life, alone (NOT lonely). I work a very menial parttime job that gets me out 3 days a week. I love my detective shows on tv, and I have the best neighbors in the world who accept me and are always there to listen if I need to talk. I had to cut loose from my family, they are totally unsupportive and I decided I didn't need that anymore, so adios. My parents are deceased, I am 62 and as happy as I've ever been.

I know some people need therapy, and a social network. There's a lot to learn about having BPD, and a good therapist is worth their weight in gold in helping guide us through all the med changes, the ups and downs, helping deal with lost dreams, helping to repair relationships, whatever we need help with along this journey.

I'm also an alcoholic (last drunk 1986) so I rely heavily on the Serenity Prayer and a higher power. I have to have faith in something, it fills a hole in my soul, especially on the dark days. Anyway, just adding my 2c! Fascinating topic. Good luck to all!