If I am feeling dependent on a T (or other person), then the things that they do, which indicate to me that they are wanting not to hear what I am saying, affect me badly. I need them to be willing to hear what I am saying, not what they want me to be saying.

If I am not feeling dependent, then I can see, or think I see, the same things -- them not wanting to hear what I am saying -- and think to myself: "He/she does not want to hear. How interesting!"

I switch back and forth between feeling dependent, and much less so. It makes things very confusing for me, since my feelings change so much between states of feeling. I can cope at some times, but at other times I am almost completely unable to cope, and in those times, I get no help from those who claim to be helpers. So I cannot decide what to do, when confronted with difficulties -- try to cope and learn, or run like hell from the danger posed by "helpers" who have no understanding of what I need, and who appear not to even notice.

I think I am revealing more about myself than is probably safe.