Peaches - I was so surprised to see this thread!

Just now I read your reply to how-you-prepare and I was thinking that for me, the nervousness has a lot to do with the fact that I don't know what to expect. At least it seems I don't, but after all this time don't I know? and yet it seems as if we are always starting over.

Maybe I have a certain inability to put into words, or coherent thoughts , the things that i have learned since we started. There is so much that I COULD name, but there is a lot more I don't have words for.

T said, last time I saw her, that she feels we have a trusting relationship, and what came right out of me was, "I hope so." I know she has worked hard on it; and so have I; but trust is so long in coming, and it seems to be so fragile.
yes I think I know what you are feeling, at least some of it.