A couple of thoughts, although I'm new to this too...June '09 diagnosis.

One is there are programs to get your meds for free direct from the drug company. Before you get dropped, have your doc or clinic fill out the forms for you so you can get a voucher and free pills from your local pharmacy until they process your request and send you (can be direct by mail) a 3 month supply. All you have to prove is that you're low income in most cases (pay stubs) or have no prescription coverage and can't afford your meds (maybe a letter of being dropped from insurance or loss of employment) otherwise. I've got Seroquel, Effexor, Lamictal, and Wellbutrin all for free. Others too, but the point is there has to be a way to keep you on your meds, especially if they're helping you to cope.

Second thought is, if you're new to this diagnosis, you definitely still need to see someone on a regular basis, even if that means setting up a payment plan with the therapist or p-doc or both. Your life may depend on it if you swing one way or another. Going to the ER everytime you have a bad episode will be much more expensive (and sometimes that happens anyway, but it will happen less often if you see someone every week or two).

I fired my psych meds nurse and therapist about 3 weeks ago when I was in a crisis and was ready to give up on the whole process. However, my problems didn't magically go away. So...I searched for a new psych doctor and I apologized to my therapist because he wasn't the real problem anyway. I was on the WRONG meds (and still am not totally alright although I quit one of them). And you probably are too...or maybe the wrong dosage. I'm currently on a high...probably still hypomanic, not manic, but it's gone on for weeks (with little sleep) and I'm looking forward to meeting the new p-doc. Why? Although I feel awesome, at some point, all bipolar people will crash into a deep depression and hypersomnia to make up for all the lost sleep.

So, it sounds like stopping treatment is a financial issue and not your choice. I'm pretty strapped too. I do have some school insurance, but even so, I have had to go through clinics and ask about discounts here and there. There is a way you can at least see someone part time and get affordable meds. It can be a lengthy process, but it's well worth it.

PS...I had a day like you described (very mixed and mercurial) in the past couple of weeks and it was awful! You feel so out of control. Sorry you're going through this.

The only other thing is exercise (so I'm told) can improve your overall cycles and well being. I hate exercise so I'm still resisting it. I hate heat and sweating, etc. But, I will try to walk at least during the cool part of the morning or at night. So that's one thing that's free, for what it's worth.

We'll be around. Keep in touch.