View Single Post
 
Old Aug 20, 2009, 08:51 PM
jerrymichele's Avatar
jerrymichele jerrymichele is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dwayne61 View Post
Thanks, jerrymichele. Would you have any suggestions about setting up boundaries? That's something that I'm not very good at doing. I know one thing that I done wrong. Just about everything that I done revolved around her. I'm not saying that she expected that, I don't think she did. It's just that I got so wrapped up in wanting to be with her. I know we were just friends, but that's something that's hard to come by for me. Especially female friends.

I wanted to do things with her so much that I paid for most everything when we went out to eat, the movies, etc. I knew that she didn't have any money. It took a while to get her disability started. But although it was my idea to do these things and knowing she didn't have any money, I began to get resentments for being the one who payed. I know that's a contradiction, but that's how I felt. I never discussed these feelings with her because I didn't know how to approach it. As a result of it building up, it led to me saying something kind of insensitive to her. And she was the one who was hurt.

Like for example when you go out to a dinner and a movie. Tell her up front that you don't feel it's right that you pay all the time. If you don't want to tell her that way then tell her that you can't afford it. Even if you can afford it, she doesn't need to know that. If she tries to take advantage of you don't let her.
__________________
Live in the moment. Right now is the only thing we really have.