Hi again, miragex~

I can't help but to agree with Michah when she said, "We cannot help who we fall in love with, but we do control the outcome", and "manipulation also comes in the guise of deception and self-preservation".

You truly DO have more self-power than you think. And some honest reflection is in order to put this in proper perspective.

In your reply post, you have repeatedly stated the guilt that you are carrying regarding this situation. Yes. You are guilty, but for YOUR own actions, not for hers. You should not feel responsible for her actions and choices. It is not your fault that this has happened.

As you've mentioned, you were well aware of her ALREADY existing unstable mental status, therefore you cannot fault yourself for her behavior. Sure, you were directly involved, but that does not mean that you are the cause.
Chances are great that if it wasn't you, it would would have been someone else. You cannot deny that fact. And with that as fact, so should you accept the realization that that only means that you simply are not the cause. And once that realization is recognized and understood, then responsibility of behavior is appointed to the rightful owner = HER.

You've said it yourself, "And to make things worse, when I tried to make everything alright, I can't because she is not mentally stable any more".

I apologize now if I come across as overly-blunt, but, I can't help but to ask you, do you realize what your message really is saying?

Lord knows, I trust the fact that your intentions were not to take advantage of her vulnerability. You have clearly shown that your heart was in the right place regarding her, however, there is only so much you can do for her. And to take it upon yourself to "make her a better human being and to correct her moral values" is an unrealistic and unattainable quest for YOU to seek. No one can "make" any other person "be" anything...regardless of how much of ourselves we invest.

It is NOT your responsibility to walk this path of hers. And it certainly is not your fault that she is where she is at present. SHE placed her own self there. You just happened to be directly involved at that specific time.

I feel badly for you, as I've been there myself and can so relate to the guilt you are feeling. However, I have hindsight as my ali now, which took me a few repetitions to finally acquire, and it is my tool now that shelters me from walking that same dead end path.
I realize that not all situations are the same; I cannot say what failed for me will for you, as well. But I do recognize all the signs, and you have so clearly stated them in your posts.
I can't help but to feel badly for the girl all the same, as she is clearly struggling with some serious personal issues, and is once again only feeling as though she is repeating her self-destructive behavior...just with a new person....you.
You've stated:
"My basic problem is that I know what I am doing is wrong; its a mistake and I want to correct it".
It seems to me that your basic problem is that you are feeling responsible for the wrong reasons. Yes, it is a mistake. And the only way you can correct this is to take responsibility for your OWN self. Attend to your own guilt for YOUR own behavior. In all honesty, that seems to be your only resolution to this entire situation.
"If I had to choose between her and my wife, my wife is the choice. But at the same time, I don't want this girl to die or have any mental problems because it".
Of course you don't want her to die. You care alot about her. No one would want that for anyone. However, she already has mental issues, LONG before you. You cannot accept responsibility for something which existed BEFORE you.
I am responsible for her condition mainly because all I did was guide her from one mistake to another. So I want to make sure that I give her life back to her".
Again, you are NOT responsible for something already exisiting. You have willfully included yourself into a pre-existing circumstance, and until you accept that realization, you will undoubtedly continue to only add to this by appointing yourself the blame for something that is not rightfully yours.

Give her life "back" to her? When did you "take" it? HOW did you take it?
Seems that you have deputized yourself as her savior and cannot see beyond that?

It is clear that you have given this some thought just through the inclusions of your 4 options. It is also very clear that you have bound yourself to this self-appointed quest of yours, regardless of the realities of it simply by stating that you have chosen your option #2.

With that, I can only hope the best for you. That your experience is nothing like mine have been, and that you do not lose what means most to you in the process.
Be aware that you are in for a very long journey ahead. That this girl may more than likely seek deeper refuge in your assistance, regardless of how much you try to "make" her see the reality of it. That your presence alone, regardless of how seldom it is, will send her the message that there is still hope, (therefore, possibly providing her reasons to continue to manipulate you...no matter intentfully, or not). That because of her "need" of you, she may very likely be unfavorably reactive to your attempts of easing into breaking away from her, (thus increasing the chance of threatening your home life).

So many possibilities can result, so few seemingly favorable for you....all because of an initial good deed.

There is one thing that Michah also mentioned, that I believe you may want to apply serious contemplation:
"Manipultaion has outcomes that are rarely a reflection of the real thing".

I also have to include the thought of this girl, and what she must be going through. The thought of the confusion she must be experiencing, and the false sense of hope that she is seeking to obtain. It can only lead her to futher emotional turmoil. My heart goes out to her.

I'll shaddup now....lol. I've more than repeated my point several times.

Again, I sincerely wish you the very best. And that it truly does work out FAR better than any of mine ever have.
I apologize for seeming so cynical.....that is so not me. I suppose it's not so much my focusing on the doom of this scenerio, but only reflecting on the same repeated outcomes of said scenerio....hard to ignor that reality.
I wish you a far better outcome.

All the best....

Shangrala