Hello, Uhhidk!

Achieving a feeling of emotional relief from inflicting physical pain on yourself is definitely a sign something isn't right. You are correct in attempting to bring your sense of falling into depression to the attention of your mother.

It sounds from your post that family dynamics have foiled your early attempts to impress upon Mom the depth of your distress. You may not be the one to convince her. Do you have access now or will you soon have access to a school or community counselor? They may need to mediate with your mom on the basis of their expertise and position.

In any event, you would do well to have someone outside your family screen you for depression and other possible illnesses (other illnesses can mimic depression or exist alongside it). I wish you success - now is the time to act.