First of all, I appreciate your bold reply but I would also appreciate it if you didn't assume things. Maybe your assumption is based on your real experience and I am really sorry for you.

I was only looking at the various options I have in hand and what you quoted is something I DO NOT want to do. I don't know how you assumed that I had sex with her and was just using her without any respect for her. Just to let you know, when I met her, she was a girl who broke the heart and mind of MANY men for her personal gains. She had no commitment what so ever in ANY of those relationships and she had multiple affairs going on at the same time. A couple of those men have even hurt themselves because of what she did to them.

So here I was feeling bad for this girl who is just in her early 20s and in stead of who just wrote her off like every one else, I decided to help her out in any way I could. Those days we used to talk a lot about her previous experiences and gradually she told me that she wants to change and be better person. She was the first to even propose me which I did not encourage at first but later on when she said that she needs to be a part of her new life, I fell for it. And you know what Patricia? Even that was a lie (the previous experiences she told me and we broke our heads on, her feelings for me etc. every thing was a lie) which she accepted when I found out that she was having an affair with another person.

Here you have a girl who says she loves me with all her heart and want me to be a part of her "new life" and at the same time she is having an affair with another guy!! How bad is that Patricia ? But you know what, I still didn't give up on her. I told her that I will still be there for her if she needs my help.

Maybe thats what really changed her and guess that is when she truly starting loving me. Those days I used to keep reminding her of the consequences of the relationship and did try to avoid the relationship but I accept I wasn't straight forward about it.

Even though she did continue to lie to me for small small things, over all she had changed. And I felt proud of myself for what I had done but the problem started when I fell in love with her as well. Again, we are talking about love here and not about sex.

I don't deny the fact that I shouldn't have got in to a relationship with her because I am already married. Many times I did feel guilty of what I was doing. I couldn't face my wife or even look her in the eye. I even discussed this with this girl but she said she will never ruin my family but at the same time she can't let me go either. So this was going on and off for sometime. The bubble burst when I "thought" she was lying to me again and thats when I decided to break the relationship. And thats when she tried to kill herself.

The mistake that I made here is that I should have minded my business and let her destroy her life the way she was. I should not have tried to change her and I should have never fell in love with her and destroy her future. I accept my mistakes and thats why I am even here discussing how I can correct myself. I am completely responsible for what i did and deserve what I am going through right now.

Please don't assume that I was using her and that I dont care about what she is going through now. If I didn't care for her, why should I be even here.