My Husband and I have been married for a long time (19 yrs) in that time..there have been more than I'd care to acknowledge, inappropriate incidents with other women. I won't go into all of it here but suffice to say he has done many things in our marriage that have required my forgiveness, have been really hurtfu,l not to mention jeopardized the integrity of our relationship.
Twice I have had women call and suggest he was cheating. He denies it, I believed him. Not because I am naive but because I don't think he could. He may be alot of things but truly I don't think he is capable. I may be wrong....regardless,
this brings me to this latest incident with our rather large breasted, chronically skimpily clad, much younger neighbour. According to our young daughter, they were all outside when my husband asked if this neighbour if she could do a cartwheel and could she show our daughter? He acknowledges that this young woman is attention seeking, has no boundaries and seems to need validation from anyone (male) who will give it to her. He seriously doesn't see how inappropriate this is.This is the second incident involving this person and I am angry. The first one was her calling his cellphone over Christmas because she found something "perfect" for me that he could buy and did she want him to pick it up. He never has come up with a reasonable explanation of how she obtained his cellphone number to begin with and in fact when this latest incident happened the reason for her having his phone number has changed between then and now (interesting)
I guess what I am asking specifically is for someone who claims he has never been happier in our marriage and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it..then why is he doing this? He says because there was no sexual intent on his part (not sure I believe that)it's not a big deal and that I am basically making a mountain out of a molehill. For me, It's humiliating, hurtful and a whole host of other things and I feel very sad. I don't want to leave. I don't know that I have the strength. I have been with him longer than I haven't been and I have a pretty nice life. I would just like a nice marriage too. I don't know if he truly doesn't get it, he's lying to cover himself, he's self absorbed immature or what?? Please help. Thank you in advance