Sorry that I'm late into your thread, but I would like to add some things to this. Her illness is her responsibilty. For an example, I have panic disorder. I cannot expect anyone to help me get treated for my disorder other then myself. Another thing is, everyone knows that she almost killed herself, so I would think that people are watching her very closely. That is really serious what she did. I think that really you need to think about her going back and telling your wife. If she is that unstable you might need to tell your wife about the affair. I would go see a therapist for your sake. And maybe a marriage therapist. For the time being I guess that I would still talk to her untill you can figure out what to do with your wife. You might love this other woman, but your main focus should be with your wife and child. I'm not trying to be mean, but your situation is a mess. A therapist would probably be able to help you sort this all out.