Thankyou so much for your response. My "gut" tells me that he isn't cheating. I know it may be difficult for an outsider to believe this and many may shake their heads, thinking that I am incredibly naive but believe me after every thing we have been through I just don't think it's in his make up. That said, his behaviour is often inappropriate. Often, I feel dismissed. We have been in counseling. Afterwards, it would get better for awhile, then it would disinigrate to what it was before. I don't want to lead you to believe that all of the time he is terrible. He is not. He can be very kind and very loving and sometimes..surprising...but he can also be selfish, immature and someone I pray our 14 yr old son doesn't model his behaviour after. Recently (3 months) we made a decision to turn over a new leaf..everything would be left in the past and we would both sincerely make an effort to be the kind of partner to each other that we wanted for ourselves. For the first 2 months it was wonderful. Lots of intimacy, talking, handholding, kindness etc then slowly over this last month, he has been quite detached. I have gently tried to tell him I need hugs and kisses and just the basic couples stuff. He would smile and assure me that he wanted that too and then it just never materialized. I don't know. He swears he is still in love with me but then from left field comes this...I have asked him to go into counseling alone. I think he needs some help to help him see how his behaviour is sabotaging our relationship..and while he is doing that I think I need to brush up on my job skills..just in case. Thanks Again.