Oh my. I am so sorry for the loss of your kitty. Pets are so special and sometimes the only ones that truly understand us. I am really sorry.

I know you are upset about your connection with T....maybe you can just be gentle with yourself and realize and accept where you are right now.
If you are so shut down, it takes time to get back.
Maybe tell your T what you need, whether it is a call with "I am here" or a note or just having T sit with you, without being forced to talk. Sometimes words don't help.

Hang in there.