I am so sorry to hear this is happening. Just from what you wrote it sounds as though there is a ltl more going on with your husband. Its ok to not to want to admit it. I did that for a long time. It was easier to pretend to not see but it will eat at you. And you may not feel strong enough to leave but once you make the decision to its like there is a reserve of strength to get you through. Now if you don't want to leave you definitely need to have a discussion with your husband because his behaviour is not acceptable if it is making you feel this way. Good luck to you