Ryan, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I don't want to sound lame my friend. Take it from the source. I spoke with a friend who has had cancer and asked her about her attitude during the whole thing, how did she maintain her positive attitude? She told me that she was very open with everyone who asked about the process and welcomed the treatment into her body while at the same time telling her body that it could protect the healthy parts from the treatment. She said she was on the vacation a month club for a while which in translation meant she set happy goals of activities. She told me that she lived each day as her last, still does. Loves people openly and gets it back x2. She doesn't know how well she will do long term but the today matters. I understand you need to focus on your treatment but I hope you can stay with us enough to get the love we have for you. Maybe we can keep a running Ryan subject in general? It makes a big difference.

You have been a caring supportive person here. I believe this is who you are. Life gives us lots of crap to deal with and it also gives us pretty cool stuff. I have a friend with end stage cancer right now and his gifts have been getting and giving endless love and friendship. His gift to me has been being allowed to care for him. I feel like I am doing something.

I wish you luck on your journey and most of all peace. Peace is all we can ask for. Love to you.